Defiance

defiant-kidsAfter a particularly frustrating day, where we battled with Kid 1 all day, at night I asked her, “how can I be a better dada?” You see, I want to re-enforce my efforts to “keep the conversation going”, and ensure we have “healthy dialogue”. That’s what you’re supposed to do, they say. And, it’s what I try to do all the time.

Well, the response I got:

“I guess you could die and I could go live with bubby (grandma) and Papa”

Nice, right? She’s four-and-a-half.

I didn’t really react, just said thank you, nodded my head and moved on to reading Hansel and Gretel (a post about how messed up that book is coming later). There would be no princess stickers tonight.

I’m tired of holding the door closed, as she freaks out in her room. I’m tired of constantly saying no, or feeling like all I do is discipline her. I’ve learned how to manage her moods and developing emotions, and I am constantly giving positive re-enforcement when she does “good things” and listens.

It’s tough. Parenting is hard. It’s wonderfully rewarding, but a major challenge. And, I know it only continues to get more complicated and challenging.

The holding the door closed for time-outs has worked, so has removing her from the situation.

(googling “dealing with defiant kids” yields all kinds of wild stuff”)

We’re at a point where we are debating actually locking the door, because she knows we are standing there holding it – giving her an audience she clearly craves. While we don’t want to go there, it’s a threat – just a threat – she seems to respond to.

So, we haven’t actually locked the door…yet.

Great defiant kids images:

03252014_article     angrygirl       pchild

Author: Adam Grachnik

I am a 30-something father and husband, proudly raising my two little maniacs (girl and boy) in a happy suburban home in Richmond Hill, Ontario.

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